How to Put Christmas Tree Lights on a Christmas Tree: Part Two

The Plan:

Before you start getting all willy-nilly and crazy with the Christmas tree lights, take a few minutes to think it all through.  A little planning in the beginnig will save you from making a midnight run to WalMart or prevent an early morning visit from the fire department.

1. Check out your inventory.  Do you have enough lights?  I have in front of me a box of miniature white Christmas tree lights that I picked up after season for around 50 cents.  Why haven't I ever bothered to use them?  Oh.  There are only 20 lights on the strand.  20 lights!  What was I thinking?  At http://www.christmas-light-source.com/How-many-Christmas-lights-on-my-tree-calculator_c_213.html there is a Christmas tree light calculator, determined by the kind of lights you have and the height of your tree.  And how many more lights to add if you really love lights.
2. Is the Christmas tree going to be located near an electrical outlet?
3. Spend some time unwinding your lights and get them organized.  Check to see if they all light up.  Check to see if any of the plugs are cracked.  Make sure the wires aren't frayed.
4. Wind them up into manageable units.  Starting at one end, gather them up in a back and forth looping pattern, like a figure 8 (instead of coiling like a garden hose) is easier to control.  Secure them with a twist tie until you are ready to use them.
5. It will probably take about 1 1/2 hours to put the Christmas tree lights on a Christmas tree.  more if you install on a Sunday while watching football on TV.

How to Buy a Christmas Tree: Part Six

Now What?  Maintaining a Christmas Tree.

So you got the perfect Christmas tree and managed to get it back to your abode safe and sound.  Now what do you do? 

Maintaining a Christmas tree isn't difficult, but it does require diligece.  If you don’t intend to put your Christmas tree up immediately, then you need to store it properly to help it retain its freshness.  No matter where you purchased your Christmas tree, it needs to be stored out of the sun, either in a shady part of your yard or in an unheated garage, some place that is NOT freezing, and some place that is not blasted by cold, icy wind.   

And it’s never a good idea to just toss the tree into the front yard and leave it.  Would you leave a lawnmower or bicycle in the front yard?  Why run the risk of someone stealing that Christmas tree?  People do desperate, crazy, uncharacteristic things during the holidays.

The folks over at The National Christmas Tree Association say that most species of Christmas trees will still take up water six to eight hours after cutting.  However, don’t bruise or mutilate the bottom cut edge of the tree as it will impede water intake. It’s also important to keep that cut end free of dirt.

If you follow these tips for maintaing your Christmas tree, it should be perfectly fine for several days:

• Your freshly cut tree should go into a bucket of cool water. 
• Don’t store your Christmas tree in a place that freezes.  You don’t want your bucket of water to freeze around the trunk.
• There is no need to put anything in the tree water.  You don’t need aspirin, bleach, floral fresh additive, vodka, alcohol or anything else.  Just water and plenty of it.  Check the water in the bucket everyday.  You'll be astonished how much water a Christmas tree will drink. 

The number one rule for successfully maintaining a Christmas tree is water, water, water.  And then more water.
 

How to Buy a Christmas Tree: Part Five

Getting the Christmas Tree Home 

When you are learning how to buy a Christmas tree, your education does not end at the Christmas tree farm or at the local Christmas tree lot.  There's a few more steps to the process.  You've gone to a lot of trouble picking the perfect Christmas tree, and now you need to get it home, safe and sound.  Whether your tree is attached to the top of your vehicle or shoved into the trunk of your car, laid into the back of a van or SUV or in the bed of a pickup truck, here are some tips to minimize damage to your tree and your vehicle:

1.    Protect your vehicle.  You don’t want scratches or pine pitch to ruin your vehicles paint job, carpet or upholstery.  An old blanket or a large piece of heavy plastic will do the trick. 

2.  Protect the Christmas tree.  At the website:  PickYourOwnChristmasTree.org it is suggested that if your trip home is more than 15 minutes, you should wrap the tree in plastic or a tarp.  The wind created by driving can damage the branches.

3.  If you are tying your Christmas tree onto the roof of your vehicle, position the tree with the cut end of the trunk facing the front of the vehicle.  It will be a little more aerodynamic that way and cause less pressure on the branches.

4.  Tie your Christmas tree securely.  Once you think you’ve got it just right, wriggle it and jiggle it aggressively to check for slippage.  You do not want your $100 tree to fall off on the highway and be run over by a semi truck.

5.  If your tree is going into the trunk, do not force the trunk lid down.  Tie it loosely with some twine and don’t forget to tie a red flag to the tree tip extending out the back, even if it’s only a foot or two past your bumper.

6.  While it's tempting to run all your errands while you’re out and about, it’s probably best at this time to take your tree home right away for a couple of reasons:

·         It is never a good idea to let a cut tree sit in the sun or in a vehicle that can heat up substantial while sitting in the winter sun.

·         There is always the possibility of theft.

·         If your tree is protruding from the trunk, another car could back into it and break off the tip. Or somebody could just walk buy and clip it with a shopping cart. 

How to Buy a Christmas Tree: Part Four

The Actual Cutting of the Christmas Tree:

In my limited experience, the Christmas tree farmer was always willing to cut the tree down himself.  Let's be honest, that's the only way he can be sure that it will be done correctly.  However, if you are lucky enough to wield the saw yourself, here's some advice:

• Ask the farmer or attendant the correct way to cut down the tree and follow HIS advice.
• Get your husband - son - boyfriend - brother - dad to lay down on cold, wet, frozen, snowy tundra.  Remind him how much stronger he is than you.  It will not help your case if you wrestle him to the ground.
• As you gently lift the lowest branches up so said male can scoot underneath, refrain from telling him exactly how to do it until he actually starts doing the cutting, or you might just end up doing it yourself.  Your job is to keep the branches up until you get bored with it or itchy from the needles.  Your other job is to carefully tug the tree in the opposite direction of the saw cut in order to keep the cut open just a smidgen so the saw blade can continue to glide through the Christmas tree trunk like butter.  Keep out of the way of kicking legs or any other form of "accidental" contact made by the cutter.  Avoid shaking dead needles and other debris down into the cutters eyes even if that cutter deserves.  It is acceptable to keep up a running monologue that can segue into implicit instructions on how to finish the tree cutting.

All Christmas trees lose needles.  Some Christmas tree farms have "shakers" and "balers."  The deed needles and debris that you didn't "accidentally" shake down on the cutter will be shaken out of the tree at the baling station.  You can also grab on to the trunk midway down its length, lift it a few inches and drop the cut end of the trunk on the ground.  A baler will wrap the tree in protective netting, pulling all the branches snugly in and up from the trunk.  This makes transportation and the initial handling of the tree so much easier.

If the farm you plan to buy a Christmas tree from is old school, you can bring your own rope and tie it yourself.  Starting at the bottom and attaching the rope to the base of the trunk, one person lifts the branches towards the top spire, and the other walks behind spiraling up with the rope.  If you were the one lifting the branches during the cutting, you will now be named as "The Expert" and you'll have to do the scratchy, itchy work will the cutter just wrangles the rope.  Speaking of rope, stay alert and keep your eye on it.  You wouldn't want to end up accidentally tied to the roof of your car.

I watched a lot of videos at Christmas tree farm websites and on Youtube just to see if there were any other ways to cut Christmas trees, but the only thing that is really different is the size of the operations and the quality of their promotional videos.  I thought I'd include this one, hoping that it might whet your appetite to plan your own tree cutting experience. 

How to Buy a Christmas Tree: Part Two

A Trip to Your Local Christmas Tree Farm

But first a true story of my own "Cut Your Own" Christmas Tree Experience ...

There were a few years at the beginning of our marriage, when we would gather mid-December with my husband’s family and go out into the country to cut down our own Christmas trees.  I can’t even tell you how excited I was the first time.  Months earlier I had been informed by my mother-in-law that the Bishops always went out to cut Christmas trees on the second Saturday in December.  Always.  Mark my calendar.  ALWAYS.  While we were had only been married a few months, I had been with her son for seven years and I didn’t remember even hearing about them EVER chopping down Christmas trees, but a few months into the marriage I had learned to keep my mouth shut over little inconsistencies.

The Bishop family traditions were made up as they went along. They figured that if they said it was “tradition” that that would insure them getting their way for any given holiday whim. Here are a few “traditions” that I’ve heard over the years:

• "We always have Christmas here, dear. Since you're an orphan, you'll be spending every Christmas -- FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE -- right here.  With us."
• "We simply DO NOT allow the men in the kitchen messing around with the food. Dear.”
• "In THIS house, the men do not put away the food OR do the dishes.” (They also don’t do any of the cooking, the wrapping, the shopping or the decorating either. Tradition.)
• "It is tradition that you sit over in that corner and keep your mouth shut. Dear."
• "There is no other way to do anything better than the way the Bishops already do it. Dear.”
• "EVERYBODY loves my fruitcake. Why it’s a Bishop family tradition.”
• "What you need is a big glass of my special eggnog. You don't like eggnog?  EVERYBODY loves my eggnog. You'll learn to love it, like everybody else.  Dear."
• "We ALWAYS cut our Christmas tree on the second Saturday in December.” 

We met at the Jack’s childhood home on Lorraine Avenue, in Kalamazoo.  There were my parental in-laws, sister-in-law Sandy who was flying solo and sister-in-law, Judy with her then-husband Larry, besides myself and Jack.   At 10 o’clock sharp, we piled into two cars.  I thought that we would all ride together, but apparently this wasn’t Judy and Larry’s first rodeo and they locked themselves into Larry’s shiny red Thunderbird.  We caravanned out into the country, to a tree farm that Judy knew about, 25 miles away. 

It was a freezing but brilliant morning, and although it sounds trite, the sun really did sparkle across the snow like diamonds.  I stood in the pristine powder up to my shins, a little apart from the Bishop Clan, still unsure of my place in the family. 

By the time I pulled my mittens on, Judy and Larry were already half way to the back 40.  My father-in-law walked up to the closest tree next to the car and said, “This is it.” He ordered my mother-in-law to go get the guy with the chain saw who was located halfway down the hill about a quarter of a mile away while he stood guard over the tree and made sure nobody took it. Oh, and do it with a quickness because he doesn’t have all the damn day.
 
My husband and I were still holding hands at that stage of our marriage and we wandered off and started perusing different trees.  OUR tree was going to be different from the rest of the Bishops.  At the time, we were rehabbing a classic Victorian home and OUR tree needed to be at least 10 feet tall.  Anything smaller would look positively ridiculous. However, I would soon learn that -- as usual -- my wants far exceeded the cash in my husband’s pocket.  But that didn’t stop me. The manager pointed us toward the taller, more mature trees.   

After about three minutes of trudging up the hill in snow up to my butt, I heard, “Come on.  Hurry up.  I don’t have all day.” I looked around.  Yes, it was my father-in-law’s voice echoing across the blue spruced fields.  In the distance, I could see Judy and Larry, who where at that stage of their marriage where snow frolicking was romantic. The last time I had frolicked in the snow with Jack, he had tried to wash my face with with a snowball, hit me so hard in the chin that I had bitten my tongue in half and had to go to the ER.  Hmmmm.  Maybe we should just stick to the task at hand. 

We stopped to look at a tree.  It was lovely, so blue and majestic, maybe just a smidge taller than we needed.  Jack negated every tree that I liked.  I soon figured out that the reason he didn’t like any of the trees that I loved on sight was because most of them came with a $100 price tag.     

“Come on.  What the heck is taking so long?” reverberated against the hills.  Even though there were no other Christmas tree choppers, my face turned red with embarrassment.  I looked at my father-in-law’s son. 

“Maybe I’m on the wrong track here,” I suggested.  “How much money do we have?”

“Fifty bucks,” said Jack.  I set my jaw.  Fifty bucks would get us just about half the tree that we – that I – needed.   

“Oh, and I still gotta give my dad $5 for gas.”  I could do the math.  I'd gone to college.

“Maybe they have some damaged trees,” I responded. “Or a half dead tree filled with bugs. Or maybe a tree that was struck by lightening.  Or maybe a genetic deformity.  Maybe something off the firewood pile?” 

“I’m leaving in five minutes.  So for the love of God, will you pick a tree?  A tree is a tree.”  That’s right. Big John was still hollering.

I put it into high gear.  Who runs through a Christmas tree farm, up hills and down dales in snow up to one’s waist, tripping over stumps and falling spread eagle?  I did and I did it with a smile.  I was determined that this was going to be fun.  Damn it.  We were establishing holiday traditions, by golly.

Over my shoulder, I could see that Big John was now sitting behind the wheel of his Rambler with the engine running, carbon monoxide drifting across the snow covered fields and overpowering the natural aroma of pine.  He rolled down his window offering suggestions to the farm manager and my mother-in-law on the best way – the Bishop way – to tie a Christmas tree to the roof of a car.  From my ground level advantage, I could see that Judy and Larry had disappeared.

Honk.  Honk HONK.  HONK HONK HONK! 

The farm manager was already at his wit's in with Dad Bishop, a terrible way to start the busiest tree cutting day of the year.  He hustled down into the valley and up to us.  “Need any help?” he asked evenly through tight lips. 

HOOOOOONK.  HONK HOOOOONK.  HOOOOOONK HOOOOOONK HOOOOOONK! 

I cleared my throat.  “Do you have any cheaper trees?  Like maybe ones that aren’t so pretty and perfect? Like maybe some with a bad side or some bare spots?”

 "No.” 

“Okay.  Well.  How much is this tree?” I asked pointing to a beautiful specimen.

“$90.  It’s 10 bucks a foot.” 

“And this tree?”

“$80.” 

“And this one here?”

"Seventy bucks.” 

“How about this one?”

“Fifty dollars.  The yellow ribbon means it’s $50.  Like I said, it’s $10 a foot.” 

“Do you have any tree’s for $45?”

“No.  I have some 40 dollar trees.” 

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK! I could hear my father-in-law yelling at my mother-in-law to yell at us to hurry the hell up.

"Where are the $40 trees then?” 

“Over by that fence line.” He waved at a tumbled down, covered by snow fence about 400 yards away.  Jack and I took off.  By the time he caught up with us, we’d studied the three $40 trees and picked the tallest one.  As the man lay on the ground and pulled the cord on the chain saw, I lifted the branches along the bottom up and out of his way.  Over my shoulder I could see that Judy and Larry had chosen and cut their tree, had it shook out and baled up, paid the farmer’s son and were tying it onto their car with a bright yellow nylon rope that they had remembered to bring from home.  How the hell did that happen?  Now it was just Jack and me – well – actually it was only ME that was holding up the entire family. 

Dad Bishop was now half in and half out of the car.  He was blowing the horn AND yelling.  Surprisingly, I could hear him over the chain saw.  Jack lifted tiny tree to his shoulder, looking like Paul Bunyon and strode towards the baling station.  I walked with the manager and tried to make interesting conversation about his farm and trees, but he couldn’t hear me over the horn blowing and hollering. 

It was a pretty tree.  Perfectly shaped and a beautiful silvery blue. And the top of the tree came almost to my shoulder.  After it was shook out and netted, I carried it in my arms like a big prickly baby back to the parking lot where it fit neatly into the trunk of Dad Bishop’s big old man car. The trunk closed without resistance.  I climbed into the backseat and he half turned around to face me, face beet red from the cold … or was it from yelling.  “YOU are NOT coming with us next year.”

We were back on Lorraine by 11:15. Barely 1 hour and 15 minutes to drive 50 miles, chose and cut three Christmas trees.  That’s how they do things Bishop Style.

Postscript:  While a $40 tree ($10 a foot) can look quite tall when one lays on the ground looking up at it, it really is just a 4 foot tree when put in a stand in a room with 10 foot ceilings.  Even with the mammoth Christmas tree stand, 14” topper and set on three packing crates, it was of course, ludicrous.  On the upside, my favorite picture from that particular year, is my three brothers all standing around the tree, pointing and laughing.  That’s how we do things Drake Style. 

Post Postscript: And as far as me not going the following year on the Annual Bishop Tree Cutting Expedition?  Yeah, I solved that problem by having the very first grandchild in October, so I was gold for a few months.  But that’s a whole ‘nother story. 

How to Buy a Christmas Tree: Part One

What to Expect at the Local Christmas Tree Lot

Purchasing the Christmas tree every year can be the best part of the holiday season -- a wonderful family tradition -- OR it can be a big kick in the face.  It’s really hard to find the holiday spirit of my youth when it’s 90 degrees outside, or even worse, 90 degrees and raining.  But, honey, after 40 years, I've learned how to buy a Christmas tree under any circumstance and it’s a worthy skill to pass on to our children. 

I think my favorite Christmas memories were the “teaching years,” the formative years when I took my three kids to the Christmas tree lot in town, specifically to teach them just how to buy a Christmas tree.  For many years, our lot of choice was the one on the southeast corner of the US 41 and Pondella intersection.  Sometimes their school friends and teammates would drive by honking and hollering.  Sometimes they'd even stop to see what we were up to.  When one gets to be a teenager, picking out the family Christmas tree can be lame, but when said teenager is responsible for choosing and buying a Christmas tree-- let's just say it changes the dynamics of the situation.

My preferred method would be to hand them the cash from the Christmas Tree Fund and turn them loose, putting them in charge of the purchasing the perfect Christmas tree for the least amount of money.  If there was anything left over, we'd go to lunch.  Usually exhausted from Christmas preparations (which all needed to be worked in between my two jobs and three soccer schedules), I’d sit in the truck and watch. 

By the time the girls were in their last years of college they had it down to a science: Find the perfect Christmas tree no matter what the cost and then negotiate and renegotiate.  There were very few tree lot operators of the male persuasion that could resist the combined assault of two very tall, very blond, very charming and very pretty college coeds.

My absolute favorite Christmas tree buying experience was the time my business major daughter, Nicole, turned both barrels of flirtatiousness and beauty on a hillbilly country bumpkin somewhere in the backwoods of Georgia and took over the negotiations from her sister, leaving Jessi to just climb back in the truck. 

High on success, we got to listen to Nicole relive her technique and tactics for hours as we drove the last 400 miles down to Fort Myers, Florida.  When Jessi hoisted the tree from the truck bed she asked her sister again, “How much did you pay for this tree?”  “$60,” said Nicole smugly, almost dislocating her shoulder patting herself on the back.  All Jessi did was show her the $45 price tag attached to the tree branch.  Hilarious.

Regardless if you are journeying out to cut your own at a tree farm, going to the Christmas tree lot on the corner town or purchasing your tree at the local “big box” outlet, here are some tips on how to buy a Christmas tree:

From Your Local Christmas Tree Retail Lot:

1.    Take your measurements with you.  Don’t waste money by buying too big of a tree.  Remember Christmas Vacation.

2.    Be safe.  If you are going to a retail lot, make sure it is well lit and there are plenty of people around. 

3.    Prepare for sticker shock.  There is no regulation on the price of Christmas trees, so they will always be priced at what the market can bear.  Remember, tree farmers are FARMERS and not Santa.

Prices will vary widely depending how far the tree was shipped, what kind, how tall and how close to Christmas Eve you are buying.  I have bought the perfect Christmas tree for practically nothing on Christmas Eve Day (don’t judge me) and in 1986, I paid $150 for a brown and green tree on Christmas Eve Day (again, stop with the judging.)  I don’t think it would be too obscene to plan on $20 a lineal foot or even higher in some metropolitan areas like New York City, Chicago and Washington, D.C..  Just remember not to buy an eight foot tree if you only need a six footer.  That $40 savings can buy a lot of lights and ornaments.

4.    When selecting a Christmas tree lot, look for one that keeps their trees in the shade.

5.    Find two or three trees that will suit you perfectly then do your own “freshness”      test. Look the tree over for dryness.  Look underneath the tree for needle loss indicated by a puddle of needles and naked branches.  Lean in and sniff to see if there is an underlying smell of mustiness.

6.  Do a needle test.  The needle test for Spruce and Fir trees is different from pine.  The green needles on a spruce and a fir tree will break crisply and cleanly when you bend them.  On the other hand, the green needles of a pine tree will bend but not snap.

7.  Pull and stroke the needles. This will give you an indication of the softness              as well as releasing the scent that you’ll be living with for the next several weeks.

8.  Do you remember that old saying, “Don’t buy a pig in a poke?” The same is true      when you buy a Christmas tree. If the tree is baled or tied up, ask the manager to remove the netting and shake it out.  Don’t fall for the old “It’s just like that tree over there” line. No, it isn’t. Stand back and give it a good look.  Go through your How to Buy a Christmas Tree check list:

• Look for bare spots.
• Look for a straight trunk -- at least a trunk that is straight the bottom 12-18 inches.
• Make sure it has the spacing you need to hang your ornaments.
• Make sure it has only one main spire on top and not two or three random branches that stick out about the center spire.
• When it's shaken out and bounced watch the ground for excessive needle loss.
• Check to make sure the bottom three or four branches are not dead.
• Gently push on a branch to check the rigidity and if it will be able to hold your heavier ornaments.

9.  And finally Miss Bee’s Two Best Pieces of Advice (especially if your attempting to teach your children how to buy a Christmas tree):

•   First -- If you don’t like the attitude of the person you’re dealing with, WALK AWAY.  In my life's experience I've learned that most of the time, you'll get the same attitude back as the one you put out there.  So if you were nice and patient and the salesperson/manager/owner was still rude? Walk away.  Let your kids know that as a consumer -- no matter how young -- you don't have to buy.  Don’t let them ruin your Christmas tree experience. 
• If in doubt about the freshness of any particular tree, choose another.  There have been a few times I’ve ignored my own advise and in a matter of a week had a brown, stick tree that reminded me every single day of the holiday season what an idiot I was.

Picking the Perfect Christmas Tree: Part Four

More Top 10 Choices

6.  Eastern Red Cedar:  While it ranks number 6, many consider an Eastern Red Cedar the quintessential Christmas tree of the South. However, I now live in Florida and while I really don’t consider this tropically touristy area “the South," I can’t remember ever seeing any Eastern Red Cedars in the local Christmas tree lots.  I’m told that they are more often available at tree farms and cut-your-own plantations, which is way North of here.  I’ll have to have one of my elves check out the Florida Panhandle market.  What intrigues me about this possibly perfect Christmas tree choice is the color possibilities.  There is the traditional dark green, and bluish green, but also silvery, gray green, bronze and even better than that?  PURPLE!  We need to get some of these shipped down here.  Plus they are very aromatic.  On the down side, the needles are sharp and prickly, and there isn’t much room for hanging ornaments.  But some of the cultivars come in BRONZE and PURPLE.  I think that’s a fair trade.  The needles are short and – I’ll be honest here – a little funky looking, but that in itself could be an exciting new challenge.

It might not be my first choice for the perfect Christmas tree, but bronze and purple are just to delectable to ignore.

7. White Spruce: Another traditional family favorite, the White Spruce is THE perfect Christmas tree for hanging ornaments.  They have a lovely natural shape, with the branches having rounded tips.  Their color ranges from green to bluish green, with the needles being ½ to ¾ inches long.  On some Christmas tree websites, it ranks the second worst tree for needle retention – Yikes! – and the needle texture, while not homicidal aren’t very soft either. The needles also have a nasty odor when crushed.  Just how nasty is nasty? On the National Christmas Tree Association web site it refers to nicknames such as “skunk spruce” or “cat spruce.”  With all that being said, it has such a pure and lovely form, it just has to be on your list to at least consider.  Just don’t go around crushing the needles. 

8. Eastern White Pine: Even though the Eastern White Pine is the state tree of Michigan, I don’t believe I ever purchased one.  Mainly because they have very little scent, which is a good thing if you have allergies, but not so good if you like lying on the couch near the tree and smelling it all season long.  Many of the Eastern White Pine are sheared to perfection for the Christmas market, but their long needles (2 ½ - 5 inches) make them a little bushy for someone with large hanging ornaments.  They range in color from a soft bluish green to silvery green and the needles are soft to the touch.  Because of the flexible branches, this would not be the perfect Christmas tree choice if you have heavy ornaments.  In spite of its shortcomings, the classic beauty, outstanding needle retention as well as it’s usually reasonable cost makes it a Christmas tree worth considering every year. 

9.  White Fir aka Concolor:  This is “the go to” tree in the State of California and well it should be.  Its needles are ½ to 1 ½ inches long that range in color from bluish green to a matte green, depending on maturity. What makes the White Fir a perfect Christmas tree selection is that it grows in the classic “Christmas Tree” shape of our memories and has wonderfully straight trunks.  Any of us who have struggled to put up a crooked trunked tree know how important this trait is.  It also has a pleasant odor, not so much a harsh “piney” scent but with a fresh almost citrusy overlay, which would also make it a wonderful choice anywhere citrus is grown. Like FLORIDA.  Since my specifications for a perfect Christmas tree often change year to year, I have purchased several of these in the past.  Not just because the price was right, but because there is a whimsical quality to the way the branches grow, fluffy with a slight curve. It reminds me of the kind of tree the Waltons would have or those Little House on the Prairie girls.  It just looks real and traditional.

10.  Virginia Pine:  And last, but surely not least, the Virginia Pine.  The Virginia Pine has long been the traditional tree choice below the Mason Dixon Line.  (That means here in the south, ya’ll).  Over the years, when no one was bothering to send any of the Scotch Pines south, we could always get Virginia Pine.  While not a “take your breath away” stunner, they have great color variants, from a dark rich green to a silvery gray.  The needles grow from 1 ½ - 3 inches long.  They have a lovely natural shape with good needle retention.  They can be a little bushy, but this tree is so pretty all it really needs are lights.  This could be the perfect Christmas tree for those who want to just do ribbons or simple decorations. 

Here's a big shout out of "Thanks" to Rick Dungey, the Public Relations Manager over at The National Christmas Tree Association who so graciously allowed me to use these photos from their website.  For a lot more information about Christmas Trees, check them out at:  http://www.christmastree.org

Picking the Perfect Christmas Tree: Part Two

In my 50 plus years as a Christmas Addict, I’ve had every kind of a perfect Christmas tree imaginable, as my idea of perfection is directly related to my anticipation, inspiration and desperation. 

I’ve had large trees, short trees and table top trees.  I’ve had fat trees and skinny trees, trees that were too sparse and trees that were so full that the ornaments could not hang down.  I’ve had blue trees, green trees, silver trees and -- unfortunately --a few youbrown trees.  There have been long needled trees, short needled trees, soft needled trees and needles so sharp they drew blood on the very hands that decorated them. 

Over the years, my perfect Christmas trees have had straight trunks and trees with trunks so crooked that they had to be hung from the ceiling by fishing line and an eye bolt.  I’ve had trees that smelled lovely all season and trees that stunk so bad I had to open a window.  There have been live trees, artificial trees and half dead trees.  Some of my perfect Christmas trees held their needles until Super Bowl Sunday and some lost their needles by December 1^st.  I’ve bought trees from florists, designated tree lots, the Boy Scouts, the North Fort Myers Marching Band, the feed store, Sears, Home Depot, Lowe's, a country store/liquor store/tavern, a “U Cut” Christmas tree farm, and trees from my own acreage.

With all this experience, there is just one thing I know for sure – there are NO ugly Christmas trees, and that includes that Charlie Brown Christmas tree.  Who knew back in 1965 when I first saw A Charlie Brown Christmas that one day, you could actually buy it. 

Go figure.                           

But I digress.  In your quest for picking the perfect Christmas tree, I urge you to be a little pickier than me.  Regardless of your taste and definitions of perfection, here are some tips to help you choose the perfect Christmas tree before you even leave your home.

Determine your tree needs:

•   Do you have limited space?
•   Do you have a particular spot that the tree absolutely has to go?
•   How tall a tree do you need?  Measure the area where the tree is going from floor to ceiling.  Don’t forget to subtract inches or feet to accommodate the tree topper and the Christmas tree stand, plus another 2-6 inches you'll need to trim off the bottom of the trunk in order to water it.  If the average price is $20 a foot, do you really want to cut off and throw away $40 worth of tree?
•  How wide a tree do you need?  Do you really want to watch TV through the branches of your Christmas tree?
• Is there anyone in your family or who will be visiting your home during the holidays that have allergy issues?
•  What’s your budget? Your perfect Christmas tree will not only fit in your home, but in your budget as well.

Picking the Perfect Christmas Tree: Part One

Defining Perfection

Everyone has their own idea of the Perfect Christmas Tree. I’m sure my idea is different than yours and both of our ideals are different from the professional Christmas tree grower.

Perfection comes in all sizes, shapes,colors and scents. Some of us want the Christmas tree of our childhood memories. The perfect Christmas tree was the center of our holiday traditions.  Some of us have matured and we want that sparkly tree that we saw on Martha Stewart or in Southern Living magazine. Some of us are simple trying to forget the trees of Christmases past.

So take a few moments and define your version of The Perfect Christmas Tree for you and your family. Here are some things to consider:

• Height
• Width
• Fullness
• Length of needles
• Color
• Scent

Remember: You will pay for perfection. A perfect Christmas tree that is perfectly fresh and perfectly symmetrical along with a perfectly straight trunk and perfect all the way around is going to cost you big time. And I don’t know if a "perfect" Christmas trees really exists. 

In your pursuit of picking the perfect Christmas tree consider where you might be willing to compromise. If your tree is going into a corner or against a wall does it really need to be perfect all the way around? Can I tell you how many times we’ve “turned the bare spot to the wall” -- every year since 1958. Nobody noticed and in the end, nobody cared. In my experience that one bare spot that you didn’t see at the lot will end up being the perfect place for that over-sized ornament you never know what to do with.

Probably the one characteristic to stand strong on is the shape of the trunk. Granted, no one will see it but the actual installing of the tree in the stand sets the mood for the whole Christmas tree trimming experience and no one wants that job to take 5 hours. On a Sunday. With all your kids sitting patiently. With boxes of breakable ornaments on their laps. And that very special one that they spent all week making at school.

In retrospect, the trunk doesn’t even have to be that perfect. Just make sure that the bottom foot of the tree trunk – the part going in the stand – is as straight and as true as possible. And make sure that that perfectly straight tree trunk will fit inside your tree stand. If your tree stand is in two parts, why not take the cup part with you and try it on for size.

And it won’t hurt to remind your honey that you when you were picking out the perfect Christmas tree, you sacrificed the one you really wanted in order to get a straight trunk for him.